Just Try It

Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-27,30  Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?  She is more precious than rubies.  Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life… She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness…  Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Ephesians 5:22-24  For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church.  He is the Savior of his body, the church.  As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Scary?  Just what does that mean?  Love him.   Support him.  Ready with actions that speak love.  No harsh words or nagging.   No controlling, no demanding our way.  We would never dream of our church telling Christ what he can and can’t do, we also should not tell our husbands what they can and can’t do.  Yes, neither should they, but they will never stop if we don’t stop.  Treat your husband with love and consideration, submission; it will change the dynamic of your marriage.  I mentioned a few weeks ago in a message (sorry, I don’t really like the word blog) about enemies, Patsy Claremont’s story about being led by God to be kind to her husband.  She started by getting him a cup of coffee, that simple act started a change in them both…

I get so frustrated at my husband.  Blended families are not easy.  We have 4 kids all headed into their teens.  What makes it worse is the girls are ‘his’, and the boys are ‘mine’.  The girls were raised in their early years by their mother (one moved in with us in 1^st grade, the other in 7^th).  Wow.  So we not only have differences in the way they were raised, but we also have gender differences.  I’m getting off track.  This causes many issues between Kevin and I as well.  I get angry because he is too harsh one time, and not equally harsh the next.  Or because I am so busy, and he doesn’t notice that the kids did not do their chores right and I huff around and spend my time cleaning, mad at the world – or I charge in and start barking out orders making everyone feel about an inch tall.  Sometimes I have been frustrated when he can’t get out of bed to be up while the kids are getting ready for school (he does have legitimate sleep issues).  Well, I can’t change anyone else, I have no control over anyone’s actions or choices.  But I can control myself.  I made the decision to change.  Most has to do with forcing out bad thoughts and replacing them with good ones.  As I changed, so did my family (who all are also working on the bad thought - good thought).  Many of our issues self resolved.  I come home, and the house is clean.  Sometimes I have to bring someone back to fix something, but that can easily be done with love.  I don’t bring work issues home because I don’t stress on the work issues anymore – I give them to God.  I show my family love and support – and whoda thunk it – I get love and support in return!

Let’s look at that section in Proverbs that I took the verses from above.  I will highlight and 'translate' some of them here:

10 – be virtuous

11 – be trustworthy

12 – do good, not harm – offer prayer and support

20 – help others

25 – trust God, be strong for husband and family

26 – be kind, no harsh words or nagging

27 – don’t be lazy

30 – fear the Lord, live a godly life

Pray for your husband with support; ask God what you can do for him or your kids.  To change a famous quote a bit – ‘ask not what your husband can do for you, but what you can do for your husband’.  If we live up to the bibles directions for wives, just maybe, he will follow the bible’s directions for husbands.  But don’t do it out of thought of reward – do it for love, do it to honor God.