The Recipe for Joy and Peace

1 Peter 3:9-12

Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you.  Instead, pay them back with a blessing.

 That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 

For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days,

keep your tongue from speaking evil

 and your lips from telling lies.

 Turn away from evil and do good. 

Search for peace, and work to maintain it. 

The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,

and his ears are open to their prayers. 

But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.”

Let’s take a closer look at that passage.  Peter is quoting Old Testament scripture to prove his point in the New Testament.  The scripture he chose to quote is from Psalm 34:12-16.  What my eye is instantly drawn to are the words “if you want to enjoy life and see many happy days”…  Peter is giving us instructions and blue prints for a joyful life!  I want to enjoy life – do you? 

So what do we have to do to earn this joyous life?  “Keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies”.  No yelling, no slander, no talking about others behind their back, no foul language, NO LYING… and more.  Don’t hurt others with your words.  I have been learning lately how powerful words are.  I have also been learning how much words and thoughts can change your life.  We have been finishing up Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind and I have also been listening to an audio book of hers about ‘taming the tongue’ and sharing key points with my kids.  So we have learned a lot lately about the extreme importance of controlling your thoughts and words.  My thirteen year old son just came into the room telling me what a great day he had!  He talked about how he was all set to think positively today and cast out the bad thoughts and immediately replace them with positive thoughts and keep control of what he said, only allowing good to come out of his mouth.  (If you cast down thoughts from Satan and don’t think something else, the bad thoughts just come back.  They must be replaced with good thoughts and words.)  He had PE first hour.  They ran their usual lap, then another because they didn’t do well enough, then another…  over the course of the class they ran 5 laps (over a mile) for one reason or another.  This normally would have ruined his day.  BUT, he had FUN!  He had fun running punishment laps and getting a good leg workout!  AND he didn’t even get tired!!  He was so excited to have had such a great day and so much fun and it was so easy!  All he had to do was kick out the bad and quickly put a good in its place.  He can see doors of joy opening up for him!  I was excited to hear the report too, and was quick to point out that his not getting tired this time was a blessing from God for his positive thinking.  So, keeping your tongue (and mind) from speaking evil = joy!  Now we must also “Turn away from evil and do good.  Search for peace, and work to maintain it.” to attain that joy.  That is pretty self explanatory.  Don’t do evil.  Do good.  This also is tied to the mind and tongue AND actions.  It very much relates to Peter’s words before the quote “Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you.  Instead, pay them back with a blessing.”  To turn away from evil, we must not let insults anger and take our focus off of God.  Like I said yesterday – don’t be angry with the person Satan is using against you.  If you let Satan get to you, you are letting him win.  When someone hurts you, they are being used by Satan to hurt you.   “Instead, pay them back with a blessing.”  Satan can’t get you off track if you don’t allow it!  Keep your focus on God, not on Satan’s games!  Remember the last line of the verses “…the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.”  Strive and reach for peace and harmony.  Be a household where the Holy Spirit can reside!  Work with you words, thoughts, and actions to maintain that peace!

That brings us to the fun part.   The joy, the blessings, the heard prayers!  God promises all those things in this tiny bit of scripture!” That is what God has called you to do…,”  keep your mind, tongue, and actions under your own control – not Satan’s.  “ and he will bless you for it…  The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,…”   He sees all we do, and say, and even think.  Just like my son not tiring when having to run a mile, God will be watching our choices and blessing us for them (if they are worthy of blessing)!   “…and his ears are open to their prayers…”  God hears us!  He hears our prayers, he has promised his ears will be open to our prayers!  Look at all the good and wonderful things that will happen if we follow the directions of this itty bitty little jam packed bit of scripture!! 

I know it sounds hard, but God will help you if you ask him too.

Who is Your Enemy?

Enemies.  Who are your enemies?  God says to be kind to our enemies.  Matthew 5:44 is a quote from Jesus in which he says, “But I say, love your enemies!  Pray for those who persecute you!”  You may be thinking of a certain person at work or even a family member, some of you are thinking of an ‘ex’.  I had the privilege of hearing two takes on enemies recently.  One from an audio book by Joyce Meyer, the other I listened to at a recent Women of Faith conference, the dear Patsy Claremont.    Both takes have the same direction with a bit different skew.  Both are biblical, valid, and worthy of comment and absorption!

If you haven’t heard Patsy speak, you need to, what a lady!  She told us a story about when God reminded her she needed to be kind to her enemies.   Through a bit of verbal give and take with God, he made her understand that - at that moment – her husband was her enemy and she needed to be kind to him.  She needed to end the argument.  So she got him some coffee, then she got him the paper, and then drew him a bath… In this little process of God pushing and her grudgingly listening, both her and her husband let go of whatever the issue was and were no longer ‘enemies’.  I had never thought of it that way before.  Any one we are angry with at any given moment could be considered an ‘enemy’ that we are to be kind to.   And what happens when you are kind to an enemy?  At first they are untrusting and apprehensive – as Patsy so hilariously demonstrated when she mimicked her husband checking his coffee for alien objects or smells.  Then they are confused and befuddled.  Then they are feeling a bit better, then they are loving you right back.  I think this woman knows a thing or two about keeping a marriage or family together and the importance of listening to the Holy Spirit’s prompting!

Mrs. Meyer’s take on enemies is just as profound and leads to family harmony also.  The point was basically – don’t be mad at the person that Satan is using to throw you of track.  Satan uses us, and others, to hurt or insult people - to take their focus off of God and onto a negative train of thought – which just leads straight downhill!  Satan wants you to be caught up in drama – drama takes you away from God.   She wrote to remember who the real enemy is – it isn’t the person making you miserable – it is Satan using that person as a puppet to get you away from God.  Don’t let it work.  Forgive, forget, and love them.  And just as importantly, don’t let Satan use YOU against others!  Watch what you say, don’t become a puppet!  Fight against Satan, not each other.  Fighting each other is exactly what Satan wants.  I told my kids this evening that whenever they are having some petty little argument, Satan is dancing gleefully singing “ ha ha haha ha, I made them fight, I’m winning!  Ha ha haha ha!”  Do you think that Satan would be dancing if we reacted by praying for someone he used to hurt us rather than getting angry with them?  Big fat ‘NO’!  We aren’t in the business of pleasing Satan.  Drama and discord please Satan, harmony and love please God.  

I also want to bring up something that I tell my kids all the time.  It takes two people to have an argument.  If you want to stop an argument, all you have to do is stop talking…

Serving

Has God ever given you a job you did not feel qualified for?  Something you dread?  Do it, he will appreciate it, you will be happier and content and at peace by following God’s will rather than your own. 

I am not a singer.  I have grown up knowing I did not sing well.  From music teacher eye rolls to crying children, I have had my lack of musical ability confirmed.  The only time I sing out is in church. 

A few years back when one of our worship leaders moved away.   Our pastor’s wife asked if I would help her lead the worship music.  I laughed.  I told her we would lose members if I were given a microphone.  She continued to ask occasionally and lead the music on her own.  Then God began to work on my heart.  I felt guilty.  I felt torn and unhappy.  I would never want to stand up there on my own as she does every Sunday… Finally, I agreed.

I was so nervous; I continually ran a mantra in my head.  “I am singing for you Lord, just for you, not for these people, just for you.”  At this point, I have lost track of how many years I have been singing.   We have a small congregation and I claim that I am singing by default.

As people have joined our little church, I have often thought I should try to pass on this responsibility.  I would be a much better Sunday school teacher if I did not have to go over music before church; I could be more focused on that one task…

Well, today I can’t breathe.  I have asthma and seem to be getting very sick.  Singing is out of the question.   I barely have enough air to talk, let alone sing.  As I sit in church listening to the music, watching the pastor’s wife again on her own, hearing the worship flow around me, I realize that singing is my service.  Sometimes it takes these little setbacks for us to see God’s will clearly.  God has given me this job to do in our church body.  My voice, whatever form it comes in, was given to me to serve God.  God will take what we have to give.  God desires our service, he desires our voices, our hands, our hearts, ourselves.  We are happier when we give ourselves over to God.  I am happier when I am singing for the Lord!  It doesn’t feel right to not be singing when the air around me is filled with praise.

Lord, I will stop trying to pass off this service.  I will encourage others to join us (Melissa), but I will no longer deny that you want me to sing.  I will sing, and praise your holy name!

Romans 5:3-5  We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.  And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  And this hope will not lead to disappointment.  For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Proverbs 20:24  The Lord directs our steps, to why try to understand everything along the way?

Psalm 37:5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust him and he will help you.

Romans 12: 6,7 In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.  If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well.

What is God asking you to do?

Integrity

How do you pass down integrity?  Don’t wait for life lessons to happen, pre-teach them.  Be an example.  One night I tucked in my son while my older son was in the shower, tucked in the girls, began talking to my husband and picking up the kitchen.  My oldest son walked through and I told him I would give him a few minutes and be right up.  I forgot!  After at least 20 minutes I raced up the stairs.  He said “mom, where were you?  It feels like you were taking forever.”  I told him I was sorry, but I wanted to give him plenty of time and I was working on the kitchen.  Tucked him in with extra hugs and went to bed myself.  I tossed and turned.  That was very close to a lie, it was true, but I conveniently left out the part about ‘I just plain forgot’ so it wouldn’t hurt his feelings.  But I then did not want him to think I lied, because I never lie.  I tossed for half an hour, what finally sent me up the stairs was the drive to set a good example.  Here was an opportunity for an object lesson.  I checked and he was still awake – barely- and confessed and asked his forgiveness.  He gave it, I told him why I had not wanted him to know I forgot, and my original forgetfulness didn’t bother him a bit.  But he appreciated the fact that I respected him enough to be honest and apologetic.

How often do we apologize to our children?  How often do we apologize to our spouses, family members, or colleagues?  How will our kids learn to ask forgiveness if they never see it?  How will they know how much it means to hear ‘I am so sorry’ or ‘can you forgive me’ if they never experience it themselves?  We are parents; we screw up all the time.  Asking for forgiveness does not undermine our authority, it increase our respectability.  I used to teach a self-contained class of students from kindergarten to 5^th grade that have emotional or behavioral disorders.  These students were placed with me at the point there was nothing that could be done to keep them in the regular classroom setting.  They were a danger to their peers, literally.  Most all of them came from questionable backgrounds or were already in foster care or had been adopted out of foster care. ( I had only 2 students in 7 years that was being raised by their natural parents in a solid home.  I was able to transfer both of those students back to the general class within one year.)  The rest of my students struggled daily.  On a side note – the signs in the bathroom about alcohol and drugs during pregnancy are VERY  true!  I have met many students teaching in that room who were adopted out, but drug use during pregnancy had already changed the course of their entire lives!)  Any way, my students – you should have seen their faces the first time I apologized to them for something.  No one in their lives had ever apologized to them.  For an adult to admit they made a mistake and truly apologize for it was beyond their rehlm of comprehension!  The simple act of showing them respect won their respect.  They began to enjoy coming to school, they did their work, they smiled, they joined in the group.  It took time, setback after setback, but most of them made it back out to the general population. 

My oldest step daughter has only lived with us full time for the last 2 years.  She moved in at the beginning of 7^th grade.  Watching her change and grow has been phenomenal!  Things were pretty rough that first year.  The honesty thing was coming hard for her and she came up to ask about playing video games because she was done with her reading time.  I miscalculated the time I had been upstairs and told her there was no possible way she was done.  When she was gone, I recalculated and realized my mistake.  It was hard!  It was hard, but I knew I HAD to apologize.  So I did, I told her I was sorry, I had made a miscalculation and I was wrong, and yes she could play a video game now (they purchase their videogame time with reading time).  The very next day, she and my youngest son were debating some bit of trivia.  Convinced she was right, she looked up the bit of information to prove it to her wayward little brother…  She was wrong, he was right.  She called him over and apologized and admitted she was wrong using the EXACT SAME procedure and words that I had used the day before!  It was like feeling God pat me on the back and say “See, see, you swallowed your pride and taught her that apologizing feels good, and that it’s okay to be wrong, and it’s okay to admit you are wrong!”  I was very proud of her.  She watched, she learned, she applied!  Our kids are ALWAYS watching, learning, and applying, it is your actions that you will see coming out of them.  What do you want to see come out of them?

Proverbs 22:6  Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Deuteronomy 6: 4 – 9 Listen, Oh Israel!  The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.  And you must love the Lord you God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.  And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands I am giving you today.  Repeat them again and again to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed, and when you are getting up.  Tie them to your hands, and wear them on your forehead as reminders.  Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.