Just Try It

Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-27,30  Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?  She is more precious than rubies.  Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life… She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness…  Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Ephesians 5:22-24  For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church.  He is the Savior of his body, the church.  As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Scary?  Just what does that mean?  Love him.   Support him.  Ready with actions that speak love.  No harsh words or nagging.   No controlling, no demanding our way.  We would never dream of our church telling Christ what he can and can’t do, we also should not tell our husbands what they can and can’t do.  Yes, neither should they, but they will never stop if we don’t stop.  Treat your husband with love and consideration, submission; it will change the dynamic of your marriage.  I mentioned a few weeks ago in a message (sorry, I don’t really like the word blog) about enemies, Patsy Claremont’s story about being led by God to be kind to her husband.  She started by getting him a cup of coffee, that simple act started a change in them both…

I get so frustrated at my husband.  Blended families are not easy.  We have 4 kids all headed into their teens.  What makes it worse is the girls are ‘his’, and the boys are ‘mine’.  The girls were raised in their early years by their mother (one moved in with us in 1^st grade, the other in 7^th).  Wow.  So we not only have differences in the way they were raised, but we also have gender differences.  I’m getting off track.  This causes many issues between Kevin and I as well.  I get angry because he is too harsh one time, and not equally harsh the next.  Or because I am so busy, and he doesn’t notice that the kids did not do their chores right and I huff around and spend my time cleaning, mad at the world – or I charge in and start barking out orders making everyone feel about an inch tall.  Sometimes I have been frustrated when he can’t get out of bed to be up while the kids are getting ready for school (he does have legitimate sleep issues).  Well, I can’t change anyone else, I have no control over anyone’s actions or choices.  But I can control myself.  I made the decision to change.  Most has to do with forcing out bad thoughts and replacing them with good ones.  As I changed, so did my family (who all are also working on the bad thought - good thought).  Many of our issues self resolved.  I come home, and the house is clean.  Sometimes I have to bring someone back to fix something, but that can easily be done with love.  I don’t bring work issues home because I don’t stress on the work issues anymore – I give them to God.  I show my family love and support – and whoda thunk it – I get love and support in return!

Let’s look at that section in Proverbs that I took the verses from above.  I will highlight and 'translate' some of them here:

10 – be virtuous

11 – be trustworthy

12 – do good, not harm – offer prayer and support

20 – help others

25 – trust God, be strong for husband and family

26 – be kind, no harsh words or nagging

27 – don’t be lazy

30 – fear the Lord, live a godly life

Pray for your husband with support; ask God what you can do for him or your kids.  To change a famous quote a bit – ‘ask not what your husband can do for you, but what you can do for your husband’.  If we live up to the bibles directions for wives, just maybe, he will follow the bible’s directions for husbands.  But don’t do it out of thought of reward – do it for love, do it to honor God.

A quick thought on trust and faith

Through every circumstance, we must have faith.  Faith that God is in control.  Faith and confidence that God knows what he is doing!  He is God after all!  Last night in our family devotions my daughter wrote what she learned in our study.  We had read about the angel leading Peter right out of prison.  She said that if you pray, God will always rescue you and keep you safe.  Well, that brought on a bit of discussion about how God does not promise to keep us safe from harm, but he does promise to be with us every step of the way.  We often have to go through things that make us stronger, or put us in a position to a work for God.  He lets us experience tests and trials to prepare us, and also to give us opportunities to grow in faith.  And when we are doing a work for God, you can count on Satan jumping in to try to mess it up.  We must push on, we must persevere.

Isaiah 40:31  But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.

Growth

“Ok, now it’s your turn.”  That is a very common statement in my special education classroom.  My students and I will work and work on something together, and then I step back and let them try it on their own.  Sometimes it means we ‘go back to the drawing board’ – literally – and sometimes it means we rejoice, jump up and down, and try a harder task.

There are also many times I accompany one of my children to the basement with their basket of laundry and watch them put it in the washer and start it up.  The first times I did it myself and explained while they watched, then they did it with prompts, then they did it and I watched; now they just do their own laundry.

Could God do anything he feels like doing for us?  Yes, of course he can.  Is it in our best interest for him to do everything for us and spoon feed us through our lives.  Absolutely NOT!  Where would you be right now if your parents had chose to never put your feet on the floor and just carried you everywhere?  You would be an invalid, literally in a wheelchair with undeveloped leg muscles.  We don’t want our kids to be dependent upon us for the rest of their lives.  We want them to be able to care for themselves, do things on their own, to stretch their own wings and fly into the world…

That is also what God wants for us.  Except God never leaves us on our own.  He is always there, supporting and prompting, and encouraging – as long as we listen.  God gives us challenges, circumstances, issues, and situations to make our way through.  Each one develops us a little farther into what we need to be to carry out God’s work on earth.  He molds us and shapes us, so we grow in faith and trust in him.   He wants us to know that the impossible is possible with him at our side.  Just as we do for our own kids, he lets us do things that he could have easily done on his own so that we grow closer to him and learn to trust him!  Just as we want our kids to become great people, strong and courageous, and able to handle whatever comes next – that’s exactly what God wants for each of his children, that's what he wants for you.

1Corinthians 3:6 – 9 

I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.  It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering.  What’s important is that God makes the seed grow…  you are God’s field.  You are God’s building.

The Recipe for Joy and Peace

1 Peter 3:9-12

Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you.  Instead, pay them back with a blessing.

 That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 

For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days,

keep your tongue from speaking evil

 and your lips from telling lies.

 Turn away from evil and do good. 

Search for peace, and work to maintain it. 

The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,

and his ears are open to their prayers. 

But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.”

Let’s take a closer look at that passage.  Peter is quoting Old Testament scripture to prove his point in the New Testament.  The scripture he chose to quote is from Psalm 34:12-16.  What my eye is instantly drawn to are the words “if you want to enjoy life and see many happy days”…  Peter is giving us instructions and blue prints for a joyful life!  I want to enjoy life – do you? 

So what do we have to do to earn this joyous life?  “Keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies”.  No yelling, no slander, no talking about others behind their back, no foul language, NO LYING… and more.  Don’t hurt others with your words.  I have been learning lately how powerful words are.  I have also been learning how much words and thoughts can change your life.  We have been finishing up Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind and I have also been listening to an audio book of hers about ‘taming the tongue’ and sharing key points with my kids.  So we have learned a lot lately about the extreme importance of controlling your thoughts and words.  My thirteen year old son just came into the room telling me what a great day he had!  He talked about how he was all set to think positively today and cast out the bad thoughts and immediately replace them with positive thoughts and keep control of what he said, only allowing good to come out of his mouth.  (If you cast down thoughts from Satan and don’t think something else, the bad thoughts just come back.  They must be replaced with good thoughts and words.)  He had PE first hour.  They ran their usual lap, then another because they didn’t do well enough, then another…  over the course of the class they ran 5 laps (over a mile) for one reason or another.  This normally would have ruined his day.  BUT, he had FUN!  He had fun running punishment laps and getting a good leg workout!  AND he didn’t even get tired!!  He was so excited to have had such a great day and so much fun and it was so easy!  All he had to do was kick out the bad and quickly put a good in its place.  He can see doors of joy opening up for him!  I was excited to hear the report too, and was quick to point out that his not getting tired this time was a blessing from God for his positive thinking.  So, keeping your tongue (and mind) from speaking evil = joy!  Now we must also “Turn away from evil and do good.  Search for peace, and work to maintain it.” to attain that joy.  That is pretty self explanatory.  Don’t do evil.  Do good.  This also is tied to the mind and tongue AND actions.  It very much relates to Peter’s words before the quote “Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you.  Instead, pay them back with a blessing.”  To turn away from evil, we must not let insults anger and take our focus off of God.  Like I said yesterday – don’t be angry with the person Satan is using against you.  If you let Satan get to you, you are letting him win.  When someone hurts you, they are being used by Satan to hurt you.   “Instead, pay them back with a blessing.”  Satan can’t get you off track if you don’t allow it!  Keep your focus on God, not on Satan’s games!  Remember the last line of the verses “…the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.”  Strive and reach for peace and harmony.  Be a household where the Holy Spirit can reside!  Work with you words, thoughts, and actions to maintain that peace!

That brings us to the fun part.   The joy, the blessings, the heard prayers!  God promises all those things in this tiny bit of scripture!” That is what God has called you to do…,”  keep your mind, tongue, and actions under your own control – not Satan’s.  “ and he will bless you for it…  The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,…”   He sees all we do, and say, and even think.  Just like my son not tiring when having to run a mile, God will be watching our choices and blessing us for them (if they are worthy of blessing)!   “…and his ears are open to their prayers…”  God hears us!  He hears our prayers, he has promised his ears will be open to our prayers!  Look at all the good and wonderful things that will happen if we follow the directions of this itty bitty little jam packed bit of scripture!! 

I know it sounds hard, but God will help you if you ask him too.

Who is Your Enemy?

Enemies.  Who are your enemies?  God says to be kind to our enemies.  Matthew 5:44 is a quote from Jesus in which he says, “But I say, love your enemies!  Pray for those who persecute you!”  You may be thinking of a certain person at work or even a family member, some of you are thinking of an ‘ex’.  I had the privilege of hearing two takes on enemies recently.  One from an audio book by Joyce Meyer, the other I listened to at a recent Women of Faith conference, the dear Patsy Claremont.    Both takes have the same direction with a bit different skew.  Both are biblical, valid, and worthy of comment and absorption!

If you haven’t heard Patsy speak, you need to, what a lady!  She told us a story about when God reminded her she needed to be kind to her enemies.   Through a bit of verbal give and take with God, he made her understand that - at that moment – her husband was her enemy and she needed to be kind to him.  She needed to end the argument.  So she got him some coffee, then she got him the paper, and then drew him a bath… In this little process of God pushing and her grudgingly listening, both her and her husband let go of whatever the issue was and were no longer ‘enemies’.  I had never thought of it that way before.  Any one we are angry with at any given moment could be considered an ‘enemy’ that we are to be kind to.   And what happens when you are kind to an enemy?  At first they are untrusting and apprehensive – as Patsy so hilariously demonstrated when she mimicked her husband checking his coffee for alien objects or smells.  Then they are confused and befuddled.  Then they are feeling a bit better, then they are loving you right back.  I think this woman knows a thing or two about keeping a marriage or family together and the importance of listening to the Holy Spirit’s prompting!

Mrs. Meyer’s take on enemies is just as profound and leads to family harmony also.  The point was basically – don’t be mad at the person that Satan is using to throw you of track.  Satan uses us, and others, to hurt or insult people - to take their focus off of God and onto a negative train of thought – which just leads straight downhill!  Satan wants you to be caught up in drama – drama takes you away from God.   She wrote to remember who the real enemy is – it isn’t the person making you miserable – it is Satan using that person as a puppet to get you away from God.  Don’t let it work.  Forgive, forget, and love them.  And just as importantly, don’t let Satan use YOU against others!  Watch what you say, don’t become a puppet!  Fight against Satan, not each other.  Fighting each other is exactly what Satan wants.  I told my kids this evening that whenever they are having some petty little argument, Satan is dancing gleefully singing “ ha ha haha ha, I made them fight, I’m winning!  Ha ha haha ha!”  Do you think that Satan would be dancing if we reacted by praying for someone he used to hurt us rather than getting angry with them?  Big fat ‘NO’!  We aren’t in the business of pleasing Satan.  Drama and discord please Satan, harmony and love please God.  

I also want to bring up something that I tell my kids all the time.  It takes two people to have an argument.  If you want to stop an argument, all you have to do is stop talking…