Here I am Lord! Send me!

Here I am Lord! Send me!  This was my prayer, a prayer that changed my life, and the lives of a man and four children.  Sorry, but the verses I included today I did not type out, they are for you to discover as part of the story.  I cried the whole time I was writing this.  It is a true tale, very close to my heart.

Several years ago, I was sitting in church listening to a sermon about following God’s will.  About being willing to submit yourself to his will, being willing to listen to his urgings and follow.  The pastor talked about praying ‘send me’.  I did.  It was a very moving sermon, I did pray ‘send me’; I wanted (want) to live in God’s will and to be his tool.

 A few days later, during prayer, the thought popped into my head about joining e-Harmony (an online matching service – to help you find someone worth being in a relationship with).  I thought this was an odd consideration, I prayed, it still seemed like a good idea.  I opened my bible at random to see if I would get a verse of guidance – the verse I randomly landed on (the beginning of a paragraph that included verses 9 – 12) was Ecclesiastes 4:9.  Go read that paragraph starting with verse 9, and see what it would say to a person who had eHarmony pop into her head during prayer.  –Okay, I hear you.-  I looked into it, it was expensive.  I would need $113.  I was a single mom of two sweet boys, I was a first year teacher, I was poor!  I considered a bag of cookies a luxury item.  I did not spend money that wasn’t necessary.  So I prayed.  I basically said that I was willing, I said that it seems like God wanted me to join eHarmony, but I did not have the money.  I asked God that if it was truly his will that I do this, that He make it possible.  That He help me see how to afford it.  The next day, I repeat – THE NEXT DAY… I received a check in the mail for $115.  Loud and clear!  I remembered my prayer to “send me”, wondered if there was a connection – and joined.  TWO WEEKS later I went on a date with a man who had lived within an hour of me my entire life and had never met until eHarmony.  It was a man on edge.  A man who was so close to seeking revenge.  A man who ached watching his daughters grow up in a situation he didn’t think was okay.  A man angry with the ‘system’ and about to break, a man who had given up on God, a lost man… We met on a Wednesday, he joked that he would get struck by lightning if he entered a church – I showed him Matthew 18:9 – 13 – and assured him that God would be happier that he was there, than he was that I was there – we went to church on Sunday.  He came to church with me every Sunday.  When his daughters visited, they came to church with us as well.  We were married 6 months later (with much prayer).  That was 7 years ago. 

Two or three years after we were married his younger daughter came to live with us (we still paid the child support, but she resided at our home).  Two years ago we started the process to seek permanent custody of her; his older daughter said she wanted to come too.  We got custody of both girls.  Now we are a family of 6 with God firmly in the center of our lives.  We have family bible studies and prayer, we openly discuss what we see around us and how it compares to God’s will…  All our kids have changed so much.  My husband has changed so much.  His faith is firmly attached.  He saw the power of prayer when we met.  He knows the power of prayer first hand.  We listened to his younger daughters daily petitions for her sister to ‘come live with us’ for about 3 years, then it happened.  When Kevin and I were planning our wedding, his oldest daughter was 7.  She kept talking about ‘the baby’ when we finally sat her down and asked about this baby – she replied “you’re getting married, you must be having a baby, people have a baby then they get married; that’s how it works”.  She doesn’t believe that anymore.  She trusts God, they all do.

God’s will is perfect, we do not know where or to whom it will lead.

I do not want to seem self-centered, un-humble, or conceited.  I do not claim to be perfect or have all the answers.  Our blended family is full of trials and is not the Brady Bunch.  I did make mistakes, still do, and am constantly repenting.  I repent of things from my past that are clear to me now that I should have made different decisions.  I am not a savior – Jesus is.  But I do know that my husband calls me his ‘angel’, part because my name is Angela – but mostly because he says God sent me to save him…  All because of one prayer – “I am here Lord, send me.”